It’s relative, really, isn’t it? How we all define success, I’ll consider success the most trifle auspices to learn— call me a gnostic addict of sorts. To dr. Halas it’s a lot more deliberate, more specific. As a research scientist it’s making significant empirical stride, finding out something previously unknown, getting ahead in your project (however that is defined); an instrumentation of learning. I find that as an REU, it will be most beneficial if our definition of success is an extension of pure learning, whether directly linked to eventual careers, or the philosophy behind structural organization, or the applicative definition of critical thinking in a scientific environment, learning as this pervasive refinement of perspective is invaluable.
This week was quite peculiar, beyond the synthesis of copper nanoparticles, and my presentation to the great Dr. Halas, a series of similar events set the tone for the comings. After my presentation, which essentially served a didactic purpose: I learned that when doing a presentation, it is prudent to justify every detail and not wager on the ethos of another, even if they have a PhD; my project needed a reevaluation of its raison d’etre. With my mentor leaving the next day, not to return until after the program was over, she proposed a number of experiments to be carried out in her absence. Two days later, the grad student I had worked most closely with also left to see his family, 2 of my colleagues left by the end of the week, and I was left by myself seeking the first grad student I could latch unto.
I had gotten used to the training wheels, to being chaperoned, held, directed, and ‘mentored’. To clarify, I should state that the position of a mentor in this program is an invaluable one and it cannot be overemphasized; but it is noteworthy and beneficial to know that it is to guide us only so far, and not to be used as a crutch. As I parsed my whims, I contrived the necessary motivation to work on my own.
The next day I prepared nanoparticles for spectrometric characterization. I had to learn “the growing up”, a sort of confidence to explore like a fruit fly digging into its environment, a measure of its boldness.
To be continued * * *